I just had a “mom” visit.
Those of you who are still enjoying face time with mom, you either smiled or cringed inside when you heard me mention a “Mom visit”.
My mother passed away 4 1/2 years ago, and during our time together we shared really amazing beautiful time, and some very frustrating tumultuous times.
I found myself having moments of frustration during my partner’s mom’s recent visit. I realized part of my frustration was based around I didn’t have MY mom to fuss with, and that terrible wave of sadness worked its way back into my awareness.
You might wonder what the heck this has to do with a business strategy blog for creative people?
Family dynamics are tricky for most of us, especially as artists- there is all the cultural and social programming that comes along with it. Depending upon your growing up environment, many parents put their expectations upon their children, and often the compliant children seek careers and relationships based upon what they have been taught, not being encouraged to develop a career or passion based on what is important to them.
In rare instances young artists encouraged to be artists, there are often conversations that go something like, “well isn’t that nice, but what are you going to do for a REAL JOB”?
We carry that negative “programming” along with us subconsciously; As we grow up these little reinforcements gather & fester in our subconscious creating a undercurrent of non-support which whether you chose to admit it or not results in our limiting ourselves both creatively and successfully.
We start to believe somewhere that this isn’t a “real job”, or I will never be like “______”. Suddenly, 4-5, 10 or even 20 years later they are still playing at the same little local clubs, small galleries or flea markets.
Often spending more money trying to get people to come to the event, Never leaving that little “backyard pond” they just tread water and often never really break even. Do you find yourself stuck in the same little pond and wondering why? Do you wonder what you should be doing to change things up?
Or are you someone who isn't interested in doing the work, you just want to paint, or just write songs, hoping that if you put it out there, you will be discovered. Really? The "discovery" people are not looking for artists hanging out in the small pond, they want to see that you are progressing your career on your own.
If you want to change things up,
Give yourself a little homework assignment- take a blank piece of paper, list times in your life when you have heard feedback that didn’t support your desire to persue a creative career, maybe it was your mom, dad, school teacher, or someone at a show asking “what do you really do” or “that isn’t what normal people do for work”. My mom used to tell me that people with low expectations, and unexceptable social behavior are artists, NOT her daughter!
List as many people as you can think of and what they said.
Let the creative crushers out of your subconscious and take a look at them.
Post one in the comment section below- In my next post we will talk aboutHow we can take steps to help you move forward. If you don’t want to wait until the next post then lets talk!